Basic Needs in Relationships
If you have been involved in emotionally abusive relationships, you may not have a clear idea of what a healthy relationship is like. Evna (1992) suggests the following as basic needs in a relationship for you and your partner: (I have changed this from "rights" to "needs" and made other small changes- S.Hein)
- The need for good will from the others.
- The need for emotional support.
- The need to be heard by the other and to be responded to with respect and acceptance
- The need to have your own view, even if others have a different view.
- The need to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real.
- The need to receive a sincere apology for any jokes or actions you find offensive.
- The need for clear, honest and informative answers to questions about what affects you.
- The need to for freedom from accusation, interrogation and blame.
- The need to live free from criticism and judgment.
- The need to have your work and your interests respected.
- The need for encouragement.
- The need for freedom from emotional and physical threat.
- The need for freedom from from angry outburst and rage.
- The need for freedom from labels which devalue you.
- The need to be respectfully asked rather than ordered.
- The need to have your final decisions accepted.
- The need for privacy at times.